Friday, March 17, 2006
have u ever felt that the whole world is against u?
have u ever felt like ending your life because of all these failures?
have u ever felt that no matter how much effort u put into doing something and u end up failing it?
have u ever felt that everything u do is never right?
have u ever felt that everything is so darn unfair to u?
no matter how much effort u put into it, u'll end up giving up doing it because u know that it will end up failing it after trying and trying and trying.
have u ever felt the pressure u get from your parents? wanting u to be the best. wanting u to live up to their expectations.
have u ever felt that no matter how much effort u put into trying to make your parents proud but end up disappointing them?
have u ever want to avoid something from happening but end up getting it?
i know there's alot of "have u ever" thing questions but have u? been through all that? i know i have. i tried and tried trying to impress them, make them happy, make them proud but i end up disappointing them. i feel that it is so darn bloody unfair to me after all those efforts i put in into my studies. i know its not too much to ask for but why is it that everytime i put so much effort in it, i'll end up failing it? to them, i never put effort in it but they have no idea how much effort i put in it. i dont want to fail them. i dont want to live with this.
i think i have a phobia. a phobia of sitting exams. im not sure if there's such thing but yea i think i have that phobia. everytime it happens to me. i know i cant blame it. i should have study earlier not last minute study but the phobia is there with me. i remembered things i studied. but when it comes to exams, i will forget it. forget what i study and all. haih.
my parents are giving me so much pressure. i hate it when they do it. im also pressuring myself. and my friends are pressuring me too. i know they didnt do anything, but seeing their results, it really stress me out and give myself pressure. i know my parents are concern about me but at least give me some space. i need the air to breathe.
this month is not a good month for me. well, can say this year is not really a good year for me. screw it.
zoe. outie at 6:29 PM
