Wednesday, November 30, 2005
what am i to do now?

i'm so darn lost now.
so many things to do but yet so little time.
i want everything to be simple.
no complications in life.
no misunderstandings in life.
just all of us enjoying every moment together.
but this is too hard.
its hard to keep it up.
balancing both things.
balancing my studies and my time going out with friends.
i think i go out too much.
i dont think so i will go out anymore.
this post is so darn lost.
but i dont care.
must i change?
i dont want to lose everyone!
i'm going to miss them if i do.
all those moments we had together.
am i given the chance to not go?
haihz.
WHY?!?!?!?!?
why must he go through so many things right now?
why cant it be easier for him?
he just need a break from everything.
he just need a friend.
a friend to care about him.
a friend to be there for him.
would u give him another chance?
would u give me a chance to know u?
i got no mood to do anything else already.
i have to study my maths c3 but i cant.
too many things distracting my mind.
things to think.
things to settle.
oh well..life is like that right?
its full of unexpected things. unpredictable.
sometimes we shouldnt take things for granted right?
lets just get on with our life.
but before that settle all our probs first.
well one at a time k.
its just a matter of time.
everyone can get through it.
i know u can.

zoe. outie at 8:59 PM
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Monday, November 28, 2005
the moment.

we just have to appreciate every moment we have. cherish it. dont ever let it go.

i'm appreciating it now. i dont want to think about anything. just letting the flow takes me to wherever it takes me. as long as i know how to pick myself up again when everything come tumbling down on me. i'm happy for now. we should not take things for granted. if we do we would never ever find anything that we would satisfy. i love my friends. i love my family. i love everyone. i love anyone who reads my blog too. hehe..i love my dogs. i love everything! except for my studies la. its kinda screwy. hahaha. getting on to that soon. hehe..anyway, i'm glad to have what i have now. sometimes i'll regret but we still have to go on with our life. dont ever let the past pull u back. look forward.

hmm..today was good. someone so nice cooked for me lunch. hehe..thank u d! muax! its nice. dont worry, u are not that bad. next time my turn k? hehe.. heard something from my friend. he is coming back tmr! yay! happy happy! its been so long i didnt see him. we better catch up on things wei. more aussie friends coming back! yay!!! weee! happy happy! hahahah.

zoe. outie at 8:46 PM
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Sunday, November 27, 2005
another good day.

26th NOVEMBER 2005

woke up early coz have to go to college for mock trial for law. it was kinda excited at first but then it slowly got boring. its a good experience. but i cannot imagine myself going to the real court room and watch it. i think i'll sleep through out the whole thing. hahaha. but it was quite fun at the end. the prosecution went first with all their witness. then we had a lunch break. after lunch, it was the defendants side to bring out their witness. i guess both side did good. they tried their best. i know they did good but just that they never really put much effort in it..like what michelle said in her blog. anyway, it was quite fun when the time for the jurors to make the decisions whether the accused is guilty or not. we ( the jurors..yes i'm one of the jury) went to the other room to discuss. i was sticking to what i think he suppose to get..GUILTY. the only way to make the decision is where we have to have a ratio of 10 : 2. it was 8:4 at first. so we keep discussing it till 10:2. gosh some people just dont know how to stand up for what they believe. haihz. disappointed. anyway it was quite fun making the decisions. in the end, it was not guilty. so the accused is not guilty. u all did great.

after that, i went to samuel's house. his room is so nice to sleep. hehe..especially his pillow. his childhood pillow. hehe..thank u! it was nice. oh oh his grandpa is so cute. hehe..
woke up then stayed a while more then we went to fetch jox to go to my friend(leo)'s bbq party. i'm so happy to get to see all my other friends. its been a long time. i miss them so much. hehe..samuel likes them. hahaha..he thinks that they are funny. anyway, stayed there for a while, went to the playground, bbq-ed, talked and take pics. well very little pics la. sausages are nice!! hehe..especially the cheese sausages..mmmm..yummy! we left around 9 somehting to samuel's hse again.

jox darn kesian. she came in and patted guinness (the dog), trying to play with him..then he suddenly pounced on her. hahahha. so funny. she got so scared and quickly went in. dont worry jox..next time take samuel's advice. hehe..we went to show around then off we head to jox's house to drop her. i dropped her off then followed samuel's car to tesco. reached there..went for groceries shopping. heheh..his grandpa is so cute!! i like the way he looks around and seeing what to buy. heheh..so cute la. i like your grandpa. hehe.. paid for everything then we head off to different ways back home. hehe..and btw i did not drive fast k. its the penchala link n kerinchi link la..it makes it shorter..hehe..got home, stayed online for a while, then went to sleep.

the pics taken during the party.

oh btw i edited the previous post. hehe.

zoe. outie at 1:48 PM
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Saturday, November 26, 2005
my day.

i think i'm going to make it short. i'm tired but still want to blog. anyway here it is.

after class, went out to mv with elaine to meet up with my other two friends. we went to have lunch at food court. barely eat anything coz wasnt that hungry. but it was alright i guess. went to watch cello after that. hahaha..samuel your right. it sucks. not in the blood par. the entire show totally sucks la. its so freaking boring till i nearly fell asleep for 3 times. it doesnt make sense la. hate it. after movie, walked around looking for present for a friend. i bought a top. a formal top. for the law. haihz. waste money on one top which i will only use it like for wat? one time only!! anyway, walked around and then we finally bought a present. it was so difficult to actually find a present to give it to him. at first wanted to get a photo frame n put our pics in it then give it to him but then we finally bought action figure for him instead. it is nice. but i'm not into anime kinda action figures. i just watch them. hehe.. oh oh must say this out. hehe..while walking we saw this huge mr bomberman. hehe..u know the game bomberman? yea its that. he is so cute. chased him for a while to take pics. hehe..so cute la..after shopping for present i went home around 6 something coz i'm having dinner later on.

came home, bath, changed and went out for dinner with my family. went to starhill to eat some korean food. its quite nice. i ate very little though. not really that hungry. oh oh i saw wai cheong. hahaha..with his small little sister. awww so sweet. he was holding her hand. hehe..didnt expect to see him there. i was quite shock when i saw him. after dinner, parents decided to go yam cha. so we went to lecka lecka outside starhill and sat and talk and drink and laugh. awww..so nice rite? i miss spending time like this with them. we laughed. we talked. we played. its just so nice spending some quality time with them. i love them! just got home like 15 minutes ago. and i'm so tired now. well put in more details later on.

mr bomberman!! hahaha..we love him.

ooo..something funny happened when i was going out from the car park. u know the above carpark in mv u have to keep going down and down and down. so i went down one floor, then just drive like normal. without me realising it, i saw a dark blue getz in front of me. the first person that came into my mind was chin zhen. the "P" is there so it made me half sure. then i keep looking inside whether it is or not. keep looking and looking then i'm like why does it look like chin zhen's hair? hahaha..then i look at the person next to him. see short hair. it looks like jox but i was not too sure about it. so i called her.

me : where are u?
jox : mv
me : is chin zhen car number plate something something something 130?
jox : yea..how u know?
me : hahahaha i'm behind ur car.

hahahah..we both laughed only. talk about coincident la. hahaha. it was so funny. hehe..its weird we didnt see each other inside mv.

zoe. outie at 12:54 AM
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Friday, November 25, 2005
empty spaces.

i was standing at my balcony thinking about stuffs. i was just staring at the blank sky which is clouded tonight. staring hoping that everything will be fine the next day. i'm not saying i'm having a bad day today. i'm just hoping to have a better day tmr. then suddenly i saw one small shining star. its so beautiful. though its just one but its nice seeing a star. i just like staring at the stars. seeing how beautiful the sky. but its hard to find it in town. i want to go to the beach. i want to see the stars. laying on the sand, listening to the waves and staring at the sky full of stars. getting away from things for a short moment. anyway, i love stars. and i love the beach. i love the waves. hehehe..its so out of the topic. hahaha..too bad!!!

zoe. outie at 12:28 AM
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Thursday, November 24, 2005
messed up girl.

i'm kinda messed up right now. i dont know how to balance my time with everything. i need to do something about it. i need to get my life back in the track. i just need a break for a while. take some time off to think about my life.

anyway, things are getting better. *i hope* . friends coming back soon. cant wait to see them. but still i have to separate my time with them. i need to study! i dont have enough time during december. i really need the time to study first. other than that, my problems are slowly solving. it just need time thats all. thanks u all for caring. i'm okay. i'm starting to take it as a lesson and never repeat it again. hopefully everything turn out fine with everyone and everything! hmm..i need to catch up with my old friends. i miss them so much. those fun times we had. those moments when we cried. those moments where we get all hyper. EVERYTHING!!! recently been catching up with two of my good friends. didnt know i'm missing alot of things happening in their life. its great catching up with them.

so what have i been doing lately? hmm..i myself not sure. been studying. been wasting time. been doing lots of useless things. been listening to music alot. been emo-ing (well only at night at home) but not alot. oh and today i just screwed the accounts paper. its all screwed up. hopefully my one question bring marks to me. *hoping real hard* hmm..what else? oh ya my grandma is back in town and i miss her! so glad to see her yesterday. she is always so happy when she sees me. hehehe..i'm not trying to be perasan but its true. she loves me! well she loves my family! hehe..i love u too! and then i miss my grandpa now :(
oh yea..been looking through alot of blogskin. i cant make up my mind!! dont know which one to change!!! nvm nvm i can just change to all right? hehe..change each week! hahaha..no la i'll make up my mind soon. hehe..oh been listening to jay alot. i love him too!! hmm..cant remember anything else. oh oh i remember now. i played ps2! hehe..well i know i sound jakun here la but its been really a long time i never play it. i miss playing it. it was fun playing. gosh now i realise i suck at NFS. grrr..i cant see the road straight and keep banging into stuffs and my car spins n spins n spins. hahahahhaha..its fun to play la. hahhahaha.

oops..ran out of things to say edi. hahahhaa..will post another one later on la if i got something to blog.

zoe. outie at 8:27 PM
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Wednesday, November 23, 2005
mixed...

i cant think properly.
i cant seem to concentrate on my studies.
i need to study my accounts.
but yet i seem to fail.
tmr is my mocks and i'm still not studying.
there are something that is making me not concentrating.
not sure what it is but i cant seem to find the mood to study.
its really hard to get to it.
i'm not sure what i'm feeling too.
tired.
exhausted.
stressed.
upset.
lost.
hopefully i can find my mood back.
i dont want to fail it.
so now i'm turning to u.
hoping u can help me feel much better.
i got no idea what i just typed up there.
i dont really care right now.
in my head right now is ACCOUNTS!!!!
grrr...i need to study it!!!
STRESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELP!!!!!!!

okay i feel much better now. i'm off to study now. bye!

zoe. outie at 10:56 PM
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random post.

i'm thinking too much.

how do u stop yourself from thinking?

why cant i get it off my mind?

i want to stop thinking.

someone pls help me.

well, just felt like posting something up.

dont ask me what am i thinking.

coz i myself also not sure what i'm thinking.

you know just thoughts on your mind those kinda things.

yea i'm going through it right now.

dont like it.

zoe. outie at 12:43 AM
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Tuesday, November 22, 2005
tensions.

lately been feeling alot of tensions around. not sure what is going on. and i dont think so i would want to know that too. but i dont like what is going on. friends hating one another. cant we go back the way we used to be? all happy and fun. its so nice the way it is last time.

i hate seeing everyone like this. :( i'm really upset now. cant this be solve in a not-so-angry way? i'm not taking anyone's side. i'm just upset now.

zoe. outie at 10:12 PM
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mmm...something smells good.

hahahaha..dont mind the title. i smell good thats all. hahahah.

some of my friends are going through some rough times now. i'm not sure how to help them. i feel bad for not being able to help them but then i know that not everything need my help. but i just want to be there for them.

ppl go through rough times is actually depends on how the person looks at it. sometimes its not bad at all. we have to always look at the different side. the bright side. its all about choices. why do u want to choose to be sad? well, according to one of my friend, he said that, without sadness there is no happiness. i would not agree to it. thats me la. not sure about u guys. anyway, if there is sadness how can we find happiness? we will be depressing all our lifes and we would not know what happiness actually means. well, i'm not saying that it is easy at all to stop being sad. its not. i know it myself. but sometimes we just have to let it be. dont try too hard on things and u will slowly see that its so much easier letting it go than trying real hard to let go. if u look things at brighter side, its so much better. happiness is something inside u. u cant buy happiness.

to all my friends, please cheer up. its not fun anymore when everybody is so down. i feel sad too when i see u all like that. it hurts.

have u ever have that feeling that a person doesnt like u? i mean u sure can feel it but u are not too sure what is it about. have u? i know i have. its been lately that i have that feeling. it hurts to know that someone might not like u. for now, just say i'm sensitive, but i somehow knows something is not right and i feel it. to others cannot see, but i can feel it. i was right the first time. now? i'm not too sure about it. hopefully its not.

happy news now! my dad is coming home tonight!! its been so long he went to somewhere ( i got no idea where he goes whenever he goes overseas) and now he finally coming home today. he left last week wednesday. but still cant i miss him? i really miss him. ALOT. daddy i want a hug! *hug* hehehe..he is just so hugable. hahaha..miss miss him. hmm..talking about miss, now i miss someone.

zoe. outie at 7:19 PM
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Sunday, November 20, 2005
inner beauty.

getting a plastic surgery does not make u any prettier than u already are. i still dont get it with some people who would spend thousands of dollars to get a plastic surgery so they would look better? sometimes getting a plastic surgery does not cover up who ever u already are. its the inner beauty that matters.

hahahha.
talking about inner beauty. people always says that they like someone for their inner beauty and all. hahahha..to me its a total bullshit. okay ask yourself. what is the first thing u see in the opposite sex? for girls they would see if the guy is handsome or not. if he is cute or not. well for a guy, they would go for the one which looks pretty and all. dont u dare deny it.
then where do all the decent, not so pretty people go to? life its just not fair. sometimes when a normal decent person like this quite good looking person, she or he would not stand a chance because that he or she would want to have someone good looking or pretty to suit themselves.

okay lets say whatever i'm saying above is wrong. but i guess some of u would agree with me rite? that the first reaction we see in a person is their outer beauty. no wonder people would spend loads of money on plastic surgery. so that they would get all the attention. but sometimes its no use if u have a bad attitude to go with. i'm just saying thats all.

i'm bored. thats y i'm talking about this.

my cousin came to my house today. she slept the whole time. she was too tired and sleepy. well i dont blame her. and nicole, you're welcome!! thanks for that post.

hmm..i think the world is small. dont u think so? well to me it is la.
gosh i dont know what to write in here already. its raining so heavily now. and now i'm not in the mood for anything but just staring outside listening to the rain drop and watching it fall. its nice. getting heavier. hmm..wonder who is singing right now?

zoe. outie at 6:25 PM
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Saturday, November 19, 2005
should i?

hmm..just wondering..should i change my blogskin? i want to change to something else but not too sure what i should change. i want to start something new but then again i scared that i will lose everything. its like something in real life. sometimes we have to let go of something and start something new but yet u dont want to lose anything. well its good that we have it in our heart. as long as we know its in us u dont have to be scared of losing anything. oh ya back to the blogskin, so should i? give opinions pls.

today went for extra econs class. it was alright. woke up late. thanks jox for the msg if not i will still be sleeping. anyway, after class went to somewhere in tropicana for lunch. we ( me, lee chee, chi jian, jeanie, chin chuan, justin, samuel, and viv) ate bak kut teh. its not bad. after lunch, as usual we dont have any plans and thought of going to ss2 to yam cha. well only me, lee chee, chi jian and justin. end up we went back home coz we ourselves also not sure where to yam cha. chi jian dropped justin off then i went to yam cha with him in ALI MAJU. well we talked la nothing much. thats all.

today i talked to him. its nice talking to him. i miss the times talking to him. i miss everything. but there is something that really made me upset but i'm not going to talk about it. but it got better after that. well i love my life now. with everything i got. i should be happy about it. why get so depressed about it right? our life is full of choices. and today onwards i choose to be happy. y choose to be sad when we can always enjoy with everything we have right? right jox? i'm your happy soul :)

oh elle, not sure if u read my blog, i just want to say that u're blog is nice :) its nice. so cute. i love eeyore. hehehe..i love u too! hehehe. i love all of u!!

zoe. outie at 7:51 PM
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Friday, November 18, 2005
God must have spent a little more time on you.

its just some random title. dont really know what to put so just might as well just put what i'm listening to now. well sometimes i think its right. i somehow thinks that god spend too little time on me coz my life seems to be so screwed up now. well i'm happy to have all my friends and family. but in other aspects in my life is so screwed up. only my good friends know what i'm talking about but its just so unfair for me. studies is so screwed. everything is screwed. oh well life its like that. it will never be perfect right? but i'm happy with what i have right now. its great. i know somehow god have something good for me. just not now.

exorcism of emily rose sucks. i watched it last night with my brother they all. it totally sucks. its so darn freaking boring. i slept through the whole show. well not the whole show just most of it. my brother was also falling asleep. my sister said that its boring too. i dont see what its nice about it. but i think exorcism is better. i prefer that la. well to me la.

now i'm webcaming with my friend in aussie. hahahha.. he look gay. well i didnt say it. he admitted it himself. hahahhaa.. gay ass. well its nice seeing him after so long. he looks different. cant tell what it is but i know he does look different. hahaha. and pls if u are reading this, pls dont get any hair style like chris or cheok. hahahaha. u know what i'm saying. it doesnt suit u la. it feels weird webcaming. first time doing it. u lucky fella. dont worry everything i see there stays there. hahahahaha.

hmm..do u know its hard to let go of something special? its so hard to let go of something that meant in your life. its like a big puzzle. if u are missing some pieces, u wont be able to finish the puzzle. well to me, i miss those pieces already. pieces that meant alot in my life. pieces that left their footsteps in my life. pieces that actually hurt me alot. pieces that actually brought me happiness. pieces that actually thought me something new in life at least. well now some of the pieces is gone. and i wish that i could find those pieces and work things out so it could fit perfectly in my life. but i know it wont. it will never be the same again.

oh i just remembered something. till now i still not yet get any of the things i wanted. thats so sad. hmm..maybe i shall work hard for it. as in saving money that is. i need to get all those things. coz i'm adding somemore things. i love shopping but the thing is i need a walking atm machine with me so i could get those things that i want. grrr..hate that feeling of not getting whatever i want. nevermind i shall do that! save money then get it! yes zuyi u can do it! hahaha..feels so weird talking to myself right now.

and this post is weird. my mood keep changing as i'm doing this. been delaying time again. hahaha. from sad to happy to sad to happy. hmm..that shows ppl can change. hahaha..i know it got nothing to do with it. just dont mind me. if u think its weird and u dont like it then dont read it. hahaha. oh man now i'm sad again. see what i mean. daphne closed her blog. now i dont know whats going on with her happening life. with her hot boyfriend. hahaha. i sound so stalker-ish but i'm not. her life is interesting and mine is not. thats it. i just look up to her. being so smart and pretty and rich. i think i better stop if not it gets weirder.

oh HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE!!! again. hahahahah.

and now i'm highligthing my words coz samantha asked me to. hahahaha.

zoe. outie at 10:10 PM
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Thursday, November 17, 2005
if only u know.

gosh i wish that u knew how bad it is. how bad it is to get hurt by your love ones. if only u do.

nicole happy birthday! i know its not right on the dot but i hope u read this during midnight than i will be the first to wish u! hahaha. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE!! i miss u now. i want a hug from u. can u give me one? i'm happy for u now. happy that u made a choice. fmeng would be good to u. at least u got yours.

now i'm on the phone with a good friend of mine. well that good friend of mine has been there for me at some certain times but sometimes there are things that my good friend wont understand. the pain that i'm going through. but that good friend had been a good friend. talks alot of bullshit. lets me scold or complain about anything. now i'm stuck and i got no idea what to write in here coz that good friend of mine giving stupid ideas now. asking me go college to study but too bad i dont want to. now that good friend sounds gay. talking about our friend that came back today. hahahahha.

okay this post took rather long time. i kept on delaying it. was on the phone then i was chatting online. then watching laguna beach. then now i just got back from pasar malam with chi jian. we were suppose to join his friends in steven's corner but in the end his friends ffked him. hahaha..so kesian. hahaha..but still had fun. walked around and got some food and drinks. wow so full now. hahahah. okay actually now i'm not in my normal stable mood now. just took my medicine. its like drugs only. keep feeling really drowsy and sleepy. then sometimes its not making me think properly.

NICOLE HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

hehehe..i know your birthday its tomorrow but its nice for me to wish u now rite? hehe..its the thought that counts!

oh he is back now! hehehe..want to catch up with him. got lots of things to do.

oh oh another thing JAY IS COMING!!! yes JAY is coming. on the 23rd nov. its an autograph session thingy in ou. not sure what time it is but i'll keep it update later on. oh my gosh jay jay jay! i love him! hehehe.. :)

now i'm off to watch the exorcism od emily rose. for sure i cant sleep tonight. hehe..can i call any of u if i cant sleep?

zoe. outie at 10:56 PM
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Wednesday, November 16, 2005
happy birthday my dearest sis!!

hehehe..okay i'm tipsy now :)

i drank red wine with my parents just now and my head is like spinning in my head now. yes i admit it is. weeee!!

i just got back from dinner with my family. went to victoria station. its been ages that i didnt go there. as usual i order caeser salad. yuck it taste bad. well worse than the last time i ate it. it sucks. then my mum let me try a glass of red wine. hahaha. its nice la i guess coz this is like my first time drinking red wine. i tried white wine before though. anyway, yea tried the first glass then drank another and another later on. woah i got tipsy wei. hopefully i remember what happen la.

anyway, it was so funny. on the way home, my parents were acting as if they were young teenagers. making annoying sounds and talking darn childishly. hahahah. so funny. me and my bro kept on laughing and laughing. hahahha. but they are not drunk.

now i cant go sleep coz my mum force all of us to stay up till 12 to actually celebrate my sis birthday. gosh i cant even open my eyes now. i want to sleep!!

zoe. outie at 10:57 PM
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could it be a good day tmr?

weee tmr is nov 17!! hehe..my sis birthday! hehehe..still cant figure out what to get for her. i'll leave it for now.

harry potter is out tmr! but i dont feel like watching it. too tired and i dont think so i could make it anyway. having dinner i think for my sis birthday.

he's coming back tmr!! hehehe..can get to watch more scary movies and go redbox with him! weee! he is only just a friend. a really good friend thats all.

well my other good friends are coming back too!! well just not tomorrow. they coming back early decemeber. hehehe..cant wait to see them. can get to hang with them! how much i miss them.

note to nic : i think we are doing another reunion next year but not sure when though. its so hard coz those ppl in uk are going back early la. then on jan we also got exams la.

today went to cheras for dim sum. all of us met up at HELP then michelle led donald to the way there as i took another way myself. the dim sum there was alright. not that bad. after eating didnt have anything to do we sat there for a while and chatted. hahahha..the cheras kaki. haihz. we keep ejeking each other only. haihz. anyway, after all that talks and everything we still couldnt come out with a plan so we ended up going to jian's house then to jimmy's house. so comfy la jimmy's room. hehehe. we lepaked there till 12 something and in the end we decided to go yam cha. by the time we left the house it was 1. donald's car consist of jox, samantha, donald, and daniel. jox didnt want to join us coz she have to meet up with cz at 2 so they left. jian showed them the way out. as for us, jimmy, lc, shae-ree, and me went to station 1 near leisure mall. jian joined us afterwards. all of us were quite quiet coz we were all tired. but hanged around till 3 something. jimmy went back home to study and us (me, lc, shae, and jian) went to viv's mc. hahaha..cc was already there. so we went to eat mamak. hahaha..thanks viv for the food. i left around 4.30 coz i have to go fetch my bro from school. picked him up and head towards home.

gosh i dont understand some people. all i want is to concern about u as a friend. nothing more than that. there is no intention or anything at all. why do u have to be like this? why do u want to push me away all the time? if u dont like it tell me straight and i will get out of your life.

some people just have to be really emo rite? so emo till ask me things that i dont even know what is going on like "what did u just say la?" "its so obvious la i know u know wan la tell la "and kept on telling me that i darn mean and all for not telling him. WTF WEI!!!! i darn bloody innocent and then kena frame like that. i tell u i would scold u but that time we were out with lc they all. so please la open up abit la. dont always think so negative and make yourself so upset about things.

oh shit! i'm suppose to be getting myself ready now. have to go for dinner with family. celebrating my sis's birthday early coz dad leaving to somewhere tomorrow. so tmr will only be us well without my dad la. anyway, got to go now. mum calling edi. ciao!

zoe. outie at 6:44 PM
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005

oh boy oh boy oh boy!! i cant wait. weee!! two more days!! weeee!! oh boy!!! just two more days.

1) my sis bday
2) harry potter is coming out
3) he is coming back.

weeee!! hahaha..cant wait.

oh oh thanks nic for that idea. maybe i should charge each person rm20 bucks? is it too expensive to do so? hmm..i wonder. then we take the bets. hahahahaha. then we run away with it!! weee! oh oh we can go for dinner with it then go do something crazy after that. remember our *ding dong* on all our frens hse? hahaha..we shall do that. oh man i miss steph now.

everyone is coming back!! weee!! december oh december~! hurry hurry pls~!

zoe. outie at 8:42 PM
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Happy birthday jimmy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIMMY!! ok fine i made a mistake wishing u your 18th birthday but dont u feel good about it? at least ppl think that u are 18 so that means u look one year younger! hehehehe..HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY!!

so today law class was cancelled. it was due to some pratical thing for the science students. not too sure what was the reason. so in the morning went to lepak around the reading room with marianna and sara then later join michelle, jox and pei wen in the mamak behind. hahaha..michelle is so cute with her expressions! so CUTE!!! u should actually just see her expressions. anyway, went to class after that and as usual didnt understand what was going on in class. gosh i think i need a stats tuition teacher. anyone can recommend one? then finish stats was c3. i skipped the first 15 mins of it went to see nana. came back down and lepaked outside the class for a while till my new bestest friend came out and asked us to go in. hahhaa.. oh well i guess she hates me now. i keep on making noise in her class. gosh i really hate her class so much. anyway class ended and off we went to souled out in hartamas. its so funny how we were writing on the watermelon and passing it to one another. its a gift for jimmy.

the plan is lc and viv told jimmy that they couldnt come for the lunch with him which include shae-ree in it. we were not suppose to be there. the we consist of me, jox, elaine, michelle, and chi jian. and jimmy was suppose to come pick shae-ree up. lucky jimmy came late and had to go to kdu to pass something to his friend so that give us more time to be prepare. we got there earlier and we got bored. we started conteng-ing the watermelon with liquid paper. then chi jian got bored and ordered 2 shots of bacardi. hahahah. its so funny. his face went red after that. then he started talking loads of crap. i drank it with him. hahahha i still remember this. he called lee chee "l chee" hahahha so funny. then i think he pissed the waitress off too. so anyway, jimmy came with shae-ree. michelle saw them so she told us about it. jox and elaine hid behind the menu and me and chi jian got really close. shae saw us then pretended to ask jimmy where was their table. hahaha. jimmy was right behind me and he didnt know that. then i said happy birthday jimmy! hahahha he looked surprise. then sat down and took some pics with his watermelonie!!! hahahha so cute. got his face on it. hahahhaa.

we ordered food and eat and chat while waiting for lc and viv to come. jimmy still dont know that they are coming for lunch with us. then suddenly jox, elaine, and michelle had to go. they left and waited downstairs for lc and viv. so me, shae, jimmy, and jian sat there and talked. i tell u this jian ah cannot stop drinking. he have to order somemore drinks. this time he ordered tequila. my gosh such a heavy drinker. anyway sat there and chatted. then out of no where suddenly lc n viv came out and shouted surprise. hahaha tell u i was surprised myself. i didnt even know they were behind. we covered jimmy's eye and brought out a small bun. hahahha. so funny he was like errr..okay. hahahha we sang birthday song and asked him to bite the cake but in the end he didnt and jox, michelle and elaine came out with the real cake. hahaha and once again he was surprised. hahahha. awwww so nice. oh oh must remember this. how was ur chocolate facial jimmy??? smooth tak? hahaha..hanged for a while then i had to go. it was so ngam that samuel came too. samuel i didnt mean to leave when u came k? it was just the wrong timing. anyway i had fun there. its nice :)

samuel u take care of urself k? get more rest and drink more water. now ur turn to be sick. haihz.
JIMMY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! hope u like our surprise. well it was shae-ree and lc's surprise la.

zoe. outie at 6:55 PM
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Monday, November 14, 2005
oooo the 5 commerce. i miss them!

i not sure why but i suddenly miss the whole of my ex-classmates from my class. i love those times we come to class early to copy homeworks. i love those times when we sit around and just talk. i love those times when we skipped class together to lepak around the school. i love those times where we just sing in the class. i love everything about everyone in my class. oooo how i miss them so much now. i wish i could go back time to go through the same experience again but i know we cant do that. oh well.

cheok - i miss your teddy bear!! hahahha..i also miss those times when u guys sing in a band.
leo - miss those times talking to u on the phone.
jenn hong - miss those drawings u always draw everywhere.
justin - miss those hugs u always give and miss those lame jokes u always make with the guys.
kent - i miss penny and me. hahahha..and of coz i miss u and my lollipops :)
jazli - our smoking teddy bear! though i dont know u that well but u're nice and friendly.
kah hon - i miss those times where u always insult people especially leo n jenn hong. hahaha.
aziq - sometimes u are really annoying but i actually miss those stories u usually tell.
deryk - i miss the sucking air thingy and the "beckham" though it gets annoying at times.
cecilia - outside shy but inside can be quite devil. very quiet.
michelle yap - wow i actually miss those times talking to u online especially those times during spm. we kept on chatting online. oh btw thanks for waking me up :)
amanda - always calling nona bitch n all in a jokingly way la. she is alright.
marianna - ooohhh how much i miss those times talking to u. i'm so glad we are still doing that. its really nice talking to u.
samantha - the one with the printed writing. the one always comparing marks with me and nana. the one who laughs alot with nona, muna they all.
michelle tan - the smartest in class. i miss those times talking to her about owen and all. wait we still do that. hahaha..i miss her nice drawings.
muna - my partner in crime. always doing those bad things in class together.
elaine - also another smartest person in class. its nice to hang out with. anime girl. same as michelle tan. the yellow girl. hahahha.
shein - my laughing partner. pn jamaliah will always put us apart. we can never sit together coz we will sure laugh together real loud. haihz how much i miss it.
jia ling - my bitching partner. well we dont exactly bitch about ppl. we just talk about our probs and all la. its nice to have someone to talk to.
ireena - the one who ejeks jazli alot. the one who laughs alot too.

with each of them in our class, it made it special. that is why we are like a family. we always stand up for each other. if we get scolding we will get it together. i miss every single minute spent with u guys even though there are alot of fights going on in the class. we forgive one another :) love u guys!!

zoe. outie at 9:58 PM
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i just want to make it clear that in the previous post that him is not the him u all think it is. is someone that i will really love in my entire life. is someone that left my world to a better place. someone who will always watch after me and my family. so please will u all stop thinking that the him is him pls. it is not.

zoe. outie at 6:11 PM
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Sunday, November 13, 2005
oh how much i miss him.

i miss him so much right now.
i will always love him no matter what.
miss those times we laughed together.
miss those times we share story together.
miss those times when i just listen to your stories.
miss those times when i laugh at those silly things u do or say.
i just miss him.

i know some of u guys will be wondering who is this person that i miss so much. well its someone that i love love so much. hehe..i aint gonna tell u who. ;)

anyway i want to say thanks to some people. thanks lee chee, sammy, jox, cc and viv for concerning about me. just want to let u guys know that i'm much better edi :) muax!!

jox : i'm happy for u but just to let u know no matter what happen i'm always there for u k? hopefully he wont hurt u anymore. if he does i'm going to.....be there for u!! hahaha.

nicole : my cousin. thanks for being there for me all the time. really appreciate it. miss those times where we keep on telling each others about our personal life.

samuel : i know i dont know much about whats going on with your life, i just want to let u know that i'm here for u and u can get through whatever u are going through in your life. like i said before our life is just full of choices.

yi ling : though we are not that close but thanks for dropping msgs in the tagboard. it meant alot to me. hehe..hope u are doing well too. if anything just msg me k? i'm here :)

jimmy : i'm not sure if u read this blog, but just want to let u know dont be so sad la. time will prove that everything will be better soon. its just a matter of time. i know u guys can work things out.

zoe. outie at 6:40 PM
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Friday, November 11, 2005

i'm sick. :(

zoe. outie at 8:02 PM
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Thursday, November 10, 2005
sorrys.

i'm not sure if u read this blog anymore but i just want to apologise for somethings.

i'm sorry for asking too many questions.
i'm sorry for adding more probs to your life.
i'm sorry for ruining your life.
i'm sorry for making u think that u are a waste of my time but u are not.
i'm sorry for everything.
i'm sorry for not looking at u at that day.
i'm sorry for being a bad friend to u.

i'm sorry.
hope everything turn out fine for u.
just to let u know, if there is anything, i'm here for u. well if u still want to trust me or something.

zoe. outie at 11:30 PM
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we need to talk.

oh my gosh. i cant believe u actually told her that. why must u tell people that is not true at all? i know u read this blog so please we need to talk about it. and i'm serious about it. i did not even tell u that before but why did u tell ppl that? i'm not going to say names here but please we do really need to talk about it. gosh sometimes i really hate u for what u do. cant u think for once?

zoe. outie at 9:40 PM
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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

gosh some people just dont get it. its hard enough being a friend for those that u love and now seeing them hurt and u feel like u cant do anything but to just be angry at one of them. have u ever thought that the other person is hurting as much as that person too? i was in that position before. my own bestfriend telling other people that i'm taking her boyfriend away. i was hurt too that time. its hard. i wanted someone to listen to me and understand me but no one could. if only someone was going through the same thing as me but no one was. i was there alone. i went through it myself. i managed to coz i went up to my bestfriend and talked to her. i found out that she was hurt too. its not coz of me being close to her boyfriend. its because i never spent much time with her. its because i never really understood her what she was going through the same time. the pain where your own best friend was never there for u. the pain where your own best friend never have the time for u. its the pain where your own best friend didnt keep contact with u. both of us were hurt with all this pain. its so hurtful to try figuring her out. trying to understand her. but no she did not make the effort as i did. so now our friendship grown apart. i wish that i could turn back time and fix everything but then again we cant really do that. so for now we should actually appreciate what we have now. i think its better for both of them to solve it themselves. i wished that i could solve mine with her together but now its totally over. its better for them to talk things through so they could actually know how they feel and think about each other. well maybe to u, u'll think differently. i respect it. its not our right to say or do anything.

zoe. outie at 12:58 AM
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Monday, November 07, 2005
feelings.

people have different kind of ways to release how they feel. there are somethings we cant just express it out. thats why they have their own ways to express it. some people when they get upset or angry, they would bottle up inside and will not let anyone know about it coz they actually dont want the rest to worry about them. but sometimes when someone expresses it out, the others will think that they darn emo. sometimes its just hard to understand one's feelings. i wish there are ways to read someone's feeling and dont have to think or guess so much.
some people would draw or blog to release their feelings. blogging is a good way to release it coz sometimes we do not know how to say it out to people, so we just say it out online. well i sometimes do release it blogging but now i found a new way to release it. Drawing! i draw it out. yup it actually does work. well to me that is. one day i'll post it up if i want to ler. hehe.

grrr..i'm quite stress now actually. i got law hw to do. i have to think if i should go for class tmr or not. then i have to think of what to ask mr danesh tmr. grr..decisions wei. so mah fan la to do so many things. grrrr.... haihz i think i better go do my hw now. later only decide if i want to or not.

zoe. outie at 9:42 PM
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Sunday, November 06, 2005
decisions.

decisions decisions decisions!!! so many to make. i need someone to guide me. i dont want to leave at all!! its making me really stress now. sad sad sad. ahhhh!! hope i still get to stay here.

zoe. outie at 11:42 PM
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Saturday, November 05, 2005
tears.

cried. hurt. bleeding. pain. scars. suffering. lies. tears. past. memories. anger. sadness. time will heal me. dont need your concern. i can take care of myself. get away from me!

zoe. outie at 10:12 PM
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Friday, November 04, 2005
the pics i owe.

here are some of the pics from jon's birthday:

hahahah..our birthday boy. JON!! hahaha..he just realised the anaconda word there. hahaha.

this is everyone who went to the dinner. too many to list them all down la.

the food!!! yummy!!

jon u lucky ass surrounded by the girls. hahaha.

now its cc's birthday :

this is us before the dinner started. we were lepaking around the malay house deco in the curve. from top to bottom : me, sara, elaine, michelle, samantha, jox, shae-ree, ivan, and samuel.

yau jun, me, sara, chi jian, shae-ree, and ivan. that stairs is really nice to sit when u're tired. hehe.

this is all of us. a blurer pic of us but its all of us in it except cc and penny. from above : yau jun, jox, me, michelle, sara, chi jian, shae-ree, ivan, elaine, donald, daniel, samantha, and samuel.

this is tcc! hehehe..he is a nice friend to have but sometimes he is too nice till it kinda annoys people. hehe.

now this is everyone in here. this is when everyone done eating their dinner. hehe..from left to right : sara, donald, lee chee, ivan, elaine, viv, chi jian, samantha, cc, jox, yau jun, michelle, penny, daniel, me, samuel, and shae-ree.

now this is the ipoh trip pics:

me n jox. playing around with the camera. hehe..

our driver! hehe..mr samuel wong. thanks samuel for driving us there! oh and sorry too for making alot of noise behind. hehe..

this is all of us! hehe..samuel, lee chee, chi jian, jox and me.

i like this pic among all the others. not sure why but it look nice. taken in viv's house. her house is so huge.

me and jeanie in her house.

ooooo..scary. hahhaa...checking out whats under there. in kellis castle.

us girls. chris, viv, lee chee, me, jeanie, and jox. on top of the castle. well its not fully build.

and this all of us after we ate our yummylicious dinner. yup this is the place. its so yummy! thanks aunty! love ya loads!

zoe. outie at 11:37 PM
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Wednesday, November 02, 2005
i love jay!

oh my gosh i love jay jay jay! hehe..bought his album today. its so good. love love love. his album just released yesterday. weeee! my jay-ness. hehehe..jay jay jay. i love jay!!

okay i think i better stop myself. hehe. today went out to 1u with lee chee, chi jian, viv, and samuel for lunc. its SAMUEL's BIRTHDAY!!!! hehe..HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMUEL DEAR!! anyway, we ate at lunch. the food is so yummy but i ate quite little coz i drank like 2 big glass of lemonade already. its all good. hehe..then jimmy and shae-ree joined us. talk about jimmy makes me wanna laugh. we actually pakat to con him. hahahha. started yesterday, when we started talking about us being gf and bf la. hahaha..he thought i was serious about it and he was so scared till he kept on asking lee chee and chi jian whats he gonna do now? hahahhaa i was laughing and laughing. its so funny. hehe. then today suppose to pretend we are something la, but both of us also darn shy. hahhaa. in the end we told him. hehe. after lunch, me, chi jian, lee chee, shae-ree and jimmy went to play pool. as usual we play pool most of the time. oh ya we saw pei wen too. well she met us la. she came and said hi and all. hehe..nice of her.

yesterday, i went to asia cafe with shae-ree, pony, donald, jox, jimmy and chi jian. went to play pool. hahaha. i won them! weeee!! except jimmy. jimmy is too good for me la. i only played with jox, shae-ree, donald, chi jian and jimmy. hehehe..happy happy me! today its a good day. did i mention that i love jay? hahahhaha JAY JAY JAY!!!

zoe. outie at 7:29 PM
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moments.

its not wrong to like someone but it hurts to love someone. it hurts so much u hit the rock bottom. there's no light to shining on you, to lead you to the right way. all u ever wanted to do is just stay at the dark corner of your room and cry all your pain out and letting time heals the wound cut so deep inside of you. well, its not wrong to cry for someone u love. but the main point is does he really worth your tears? ask yourself that. does he really care for u? coz if he does he wont hurt u this much.

zoe. outie at 3:02 AM
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Tuesday, November 01, 2005
a place called heavan.

woke up at 8 in the morning on a monday. bathed. then packed my things. waited for chi jian like for 5 minutes. i was on time but he was late for 4 minutes. hahahha. we left my house at 8.55 so we thought we are going to be late coz we are suppose to meet at jox's house at 9.15. hahaha but too bad we made it in time. we are just 1 minute earlier. hahahaha. how lame am i. but anyway, waited for like 10 minutes in chi jian's car for samuel to arrive with lee chee. we went in the car and off we go to ipoh. during the journey, we kept changing cds to listen. everyone seem to be quite down and couldnt find the right music to bring up the mood. we end up taking pics in the car. hahaha..well mostly me and jox la. samuel was driving so he cant be in the pic. lee chee too tired so she dont want to be in it and chi jian. hmm..i also dunno why he dont want. lucky samuel put a nice track on. heheh..my yaa heee..my yaa hooo..hahaha..its a soundtrack from chicken little. hahaha. then jox and i were dancing in the car. hahaha.

then around 12, we reached viv's house with the help of her aunt. her aunt is so young and pretty. hehe. ok back to that. we reached her house without her knowing it, then we went to hide. her aunt called her out to help her take things in the car. then as she walked out, we shouted, "SURPRISE!!!" hahaha..she was surprised by us. haha..she nearly cried. she was too happy seeing us. she didnt expect us to visit her. we lepaked around her house for a while. her house is nice! big and nice! very neat. then after a while, we went to eat curry mee in some restaurant near her house. its yummy but i cant tahan. its spicy okay. fine samuel u win. u and your words. =P he said that i will take 2 or 3 bites then i'll finish up the whole glass of drinks edi. well..errr..its true la. i did finish it up after 2 or 3 bites. hehe..i cant tahan la. i gave it away to chi jian. hehe..

after lunch, me, chi jian, jox, and cc went into one car and off to jeanie's house. hehe..we got lost in the end. nehhh that cc la. dont want to call for directions and said that he knows the way but in the end we got lost and didnt know where we were going. so in the end he gave up and called jeanie for help. we end up in the volvo showroom. hahaha. me, jox and chi jian went in to check the cars out. pretended to be rich spoil brats looking for cars. hahhaha. we went back to cc's car and waited for jeanie. while waiting in the car, we were listening to one of jay's songs in initial D. it was so sad while listening to it. some more it was raining that time. gosh sad sad sad =( waited for like 10 minutes or so then jeanie came. we followed her car. samuel they all were already there but they went to the swimming club. so we end up going there. sat there and chat for a while. after that we went to jeanie's house for a while. her dogs are so adorable!!! so cutee!!!! hehe..her house is nice and big too. hehe..but kinda messy. hehe..sorry jeanie! hehe..i miss u!! so glad to see u! its been really long i didnt see u. hehe.

then we went off to kellis castle in two cars. me, jox, chi jian, jeanie, and cc in one car and samuel, lee chee, chris (not sure if it is spelt this way) and viv in the other car. there is a story behind this castle. its about a guy building a castle for his wife whom he loved very much. his wife died coz of some sickness, then he stopped building it. heard that he also buried his wife there. its kinda touching but with this story i give it wont touch anyone. hahaha. i'm not sure whats the story about. anyway, got there and checked it out. heard that it was haunted but too bad we went there in the afternoon. its much better if its at night. much scarier. hahaha. the sculptur its good. the way they build it its nice. we took a few pictures there. we went to the top of the building. darn high wei but its really relaxing up there. then we ciaoed to clearwater santuary. its a club. its really really beautiful. seriously it is. i love to stay there. we went there for like pretty short while. its nice.

then we went off to buy some food then went back to viv's house. we chilled while waiting for viv to get herself ready. around 7 we left and head off to the restaurant where her dad and aunt waiting for us. wow i really wanna thanks her parents alot. seriously. its like heavan wei eating the food. her parents is really really nice. spending us fresh oysters, fish, crabs, lobsters and many other more. its super yummylicious. its so yummy!! yum yum yum!! wahh talk about it now makes me wanna eat it again. i really appreciate it alot. THANKS VIV for everything!!! THANKS VIV'S PARENTS!!!! seriously THANK YOU ALL!!

after dinner, off we head off to KL. viv's aunt showed us the way out to the highway. while following her car, samuel put the windows down and open up the sunroof. lee chee and jox went up and started shouting. we were all shouting in the car saying thanks to viv and her aunt. we kept on shouting I LOVE YOU VIV!! I LOVE YOU AUNTY! seriously we do love u viv and your aunt too. =) we reached at jox's house around 10 something.

chi jian fetched lee chee back home. hahaha. its so funny. lee chee showed us the way out. she asked us to go straight down then turn left then go straight all the way. hahahah. then we followed la. after a while, chi jian was like saying, "eh didnt we come here just now?" i was like no la its right la. thats what lee chee say la. then after a while i remembered the mcD. then i'm like "shit wei we going one big round only" hahahha. yes we did go one big round only. hahaha. its so funny la. in the end called lee chee and she directed us out. chi jian fetched me back home. chi jian is really sweet and caring. he went to buy food from ipoh to give to his aunt that took care of him. its really nice of him. went to his aunt's apartment to give it to her but she is not in. he called her son and asked their whereabouts. then went to the restaurant and passed the things to her and send me back home. reached my house around 12 something, bathed and went to bed straight.

thanks samuel for driving us there and back. thanks chi jian for fetching me. thanks viv for everything. and also thanks to your aunt for giving us good food. thanks for everything u guys! love u all!

i'll load the pics later.

zoe. outie at 2:41 PM
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